


White Wall

by Cucumalec



Series: Hard Shadow [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is wild, Awkward Alec Lightwood, Explicit Language, Flirting, Homophobia, Job Interview, M/M, Malec, Racism, like kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 22:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17650976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cucumalec/pseuds/Cucumalec
Summary: Magnus and Alec meet for the first time when they apply for the same job. When the interview doesn't go as planned, things get a little heated.





	White Wall

**Author's Note:**

> I always waste too much time on public Transportation. Out of boredom I started making up Malec stories about songs that I listen to on my way and I thought I'd share them with you. The first song is called [Weiße Wand](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPMutMEI_mo) (White Wall) and is about racism/white privilege.

Alec checks his watch several times, although he knows that he is way too early. But his entire future depends on today. If he manages to behave reasonably well during the interview, then he could work as a real estate agent for the largest company in the country. Yes, this is not his dream job, but they pay well. Actually more than well. If he worked there for a few more years, he would have made a living. All he has to do is smile, squeeze the guy's hand firmly and try to answer his questions as calmly as possible. He can do that. He always did. So why would he fail today of all days? Alec tries not think about in how many ways he’s going to fuck up today. He feels sick. As if a swarm of insects buzzes around in his stomach and tries to escape.

 _Stop it! You’ve got this, Alec. Calm the fuck down. Just Smile_ , _act like you love your job and try to answer his questions decently. It's not that hard. You've got this._

He can do that. Why does he always think that this time, this time, it’s going to be the one time he fails? He should have learned his lesson by now! Alec shakes his head and breathes in deeply several times. When he opens his eyes again, he looks around carefully. None of the other passengers watches him.Nobody seems to have noticed anything.

Sometimes Alec forgets that others can't hear his thoughts. Many people consider him rude, stubborn and a loner, but he's never been called insecure. Not once. And he's very interested in keeping it that way. He lets his eyes wander over other people's faces. Most of them stare at their phones and try to avoid any human contact. Alec can relate. But then he spots a man that looks somewhere else: He looks at him. Their eyes meet and Alec feels his blood rising to his head. He smiles for a short moment. Then he turns his head away quickly, because he can’t bring himself to wait for his reaction. Damn, that's the most handsome man he's ever seen. He is incredibly hot. Alec has no other word for it. Even in a big city like this one, he stands out from the crowd. He definitely knows how to dress. Alec never really thought about how good men can look in vests and cloth trousers, but now he can't get the picture out of his head. His tanned skin seems to shine golden in the few rays of sunlight. He feels the strong need to see the man without all those layers of fabric, admire his naked upper body and leave wet kisses all over him. Taste his skin and feel his body pressed against his own. Alec's cheeks get hot again.

_Calm down, he can't hear you, idiot._

But what if this man out of all people has magical powers and yet can read his thoughts?

_You are behaving ridiculously again. Focus, Alec._

He has an super important interview soon and can't possibly show up with a boner. So instead he takes his cell phone out of his pocket in order to distract himself. For the next few stations he desperately tries not to look over, but he still feels like the man is watching him. This tense mood only disappears when a fat middle-aged man gets on the train and loudly asks for the tickets.

Fuck. Alec searches his bag in panic. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He can’t find that damn thing. Okay, maybe he forgot to buy one in the first place. He runs his fingers through his hair several times. There is nothing he can do about it now. Alec is already preparing mentally for the embarrassing conversation, but the ticket collector is busy with someone else. It's the hot guy.

"Ticket, please," he barks out.

"Of course, Sir. Just give me second.", the man answers and his voice is deep and smooth. Just as fascinating as everything else about him. With every passing second, the collector becomes more and more impatient.

"That's typical. People like you always think you can drive around for free, But let me tell you something, my friend. You wont get away with this bullshit this time.", the collector yells.

His face is red and the vein on his forehead is throbbing alarmingly. He looks like he's about to explode. The compartment, on the other hand, is deafeningly silent. Not a single person looks up, on the contrary everyone seems to duck a little deeper into their seats.

"Got it!", the hot guy finally says, waving his ticket in front of the other man’s face. The collector takes a closer look at it for a few seconds, then he grunts disappointedly because it’s obviously valid and turns to the other passengers. When he reaches Alec, he just gives him a short look and walks on without controlling him. One station later he gets out of the train.

"What an idiot..." Alec says shaking his head in disapproval, but the hot guy just shrugs his shoulders.

"It’s no big deal. I'm used to it."

Alec smiles at him sadly, then he turns his gaze away, unsure of what to say. He feels yet again this boiling indeterminate rage within himself that he felt so often when he was younger. This man shouldn't be used to it.  No one should ever get used to it.

Sometimes Alec forgets that he lives in a world where discrimination and racism still exists on a daily basis. Perhaps racism can be removed from the codes, but never from people's minds. There will never be this point where it magically disappears for good. It's a constant battle. We live in a world where people demonstrate for equality and tolerance every single day. In a world where people tweet “Fuck the Nazis” and then sit back and relax. But those people also remain silent when they face racism in the real world. It makes Alec feel sick that he is exactly one of them. Every time he remains silent, he's part of the problem. Of course, you could always try to find an excuse. Maybe you need to get to the interview in time, maybe you're just an anxious person or maybe it's not worth the trouble. But in the end, that's exactly what it is: excuses.  
Alec is somehow angry at both: the world in general that allows such things to happen and himself in specific who does nothing against it. He should have said something. He really should have done something.

He's almost tempted to cancel the job interview and go to the gym instead. Alec just needs to let off some steam, even if he ends up pulling a muscle again. But he can’t do that now. He promised his father he'd go to the interview. The guy was a good friend of Robert's. It's only 30 fucking minutes. After that he can do whatever the fuck he wants. He inhales deeply and counts the seconds in his head. When his station arrives, he scurries to the exit and checks Google Maps several times to see if he is running in the right direction. He already knows the way by heart because he looked it up several times this morning, but he still wants to be sure. Just in case. The building is a skyscraper completely made of glass, so that it reflects dirty grey cloudy sky. God, how much he hates this city on days like this. Inside of the building an unnaturally friendly looking guy leads him to the office. There are exactly two hard aluminum chairs in the hallway and Alec tries to make himself comfortable on them. Great, he has exactly 38 minutes left. Enough time for him to go mad. Enough time to think about in how many different ways he is going to fail. He only snaps out of it, when someone, sits down next to him in a graceful movement. Of course, it has to be the hot guy from the train.

"What a strange coincidence," the man says as he shifts in his seat.

His knee touches Alec’s slightly. Alec's heart beats wildly and he hears the blood rushing in his ears. Is it because of the interview or because of their physical closeness?

"I am Magnus Bane," he introduces himself, reaching out his hand.

"Alec Lightwood", Alec answers. Magnus handshake is much more gentle than Alec is used to in his profession.

They just look at each other somewhat awkwardly for a while without any of them saying word. He feels the need to apologize. Alec looks inside for the right words, but they just seem to buzz around in his head. There, but not in his reach.

" What is an extraordinary man like you doing in such an ordinary building?”, Magnus finally asks him and catches him off-guard .

"I- My dad. He told me to apply for this.", Alec answers and curses himself at the same moment. He sounds like a pathetic little child who can't make his own decisions. But Magnus just laughs loud and unbridled.

"That's refreshingly honest. Are you always like this? It’s a very unusual method in our profession."

"It's not a method. That's just how I am," Alec says.

It's the truth. He hates lying. He had to learn it over the years, but this doesn't mean he likes it.

Magnus gently shakes his head as if he has never heard anything stranger.

"Why are you applying?", Alec asks.

"Because I’m good at what I’m doing. I spent most of my youth studying and then I worked for several companies afterwards. But I feel like it's time for the next big step now.", Magnus answers without hesitation.

Alright, Alec clearly doesn’t stand a chance. He would like to feel the same kind of passion, but whenever he thinks about his job, he just wants to roll his eyes. Maybe you shouldn’t already feel like this when you were in your mid-twenties, but he made his decision and he doesn't belong to those people who looked for something completely new every year. These people are not discontent with their jobs, but with themselves. Alec knows that he won’t magically become a happy person overnight, just because he wastes 9 hours a day with something else. He’ll never feel excited about being an agent. Magnus deserves the job more than he does.

"Then good luck, I guess," Alec says and he means it.

"Thank you very much. The same goes for you,"

Then it's quiet again between them. And Alec knows that this is the moment to say something. There are no more excuses. He doesn't know what but he will come up with something while he talks.

„Magnus. I- I wanted to apologize for earlier.I should have said something. That man was out of line”,Alec begins.

“Like I said. I really don’t care.”, Magnus says.

“But you should.”

“But I really don’t mind.”

“But its wrong. And it’s unfair.”, Alec insists. He just doesn't understand why Magnus pretends it doesn't matter. It was obviously wrong and Alec wants Magnus to get upset about it.

“You’re not the one I’m trying to convince here.”, Magnus finally admits, and this makes Alec shut up.

He tries to understand what this injustice feels like to Magnus. He thinks about all the times he didn't dare to hold a man's hand when they were out for a walk, or when he couldn’t kiss his boyfriend whenever he felt like it. Or whenever people used the word gay as an insult, even the smallest children on the playground. Even Jace still did that sometimes, although he didn’t mean it like this. And then Alec just always says he doesn't care. But he is actually trying to convince himself rather than anyone else. Because otherwise he would suffocate under the mountain of small insults and injustices that he experiences every single day. And this is when he understands what Magnus is trying to say.

“I’m sorry.”, Alec says.

„Don’t be. It’s not your fault. You seem like a decent man to me. Maybe even more than that. I would like to get to know you better. How about dinner later?”, Magnus says casually.

Alec stares at him in complete confusion. Did Magnus just ask him for a date, or did he simply feel sorry for Alec because he knows Alec won’t get the job. Is Magnus even gay? And if so, how does he know that Alec is gay? Maybe he misunderstands the situation completely. Maybe the invitation is just a friendly gesture. His Sister always says that all his thinking destroys his brain. And at this very moment he agrees. Alec feels unable to answer anything.

"Alright, take you time. You’re probably that kind of person that takes 3 days to answer their text messages. Or maybe I should just take this as a no", Magnus says after one-minute dead silence.

Alec stutters out several words that don't make sense to him nor Magnus. Then his face gets hot again and Alec decides to close his mouth to prevent worse. Magnus' lips turn to a smile, but before he can say anything about Alec's stupid behavior, the secretary already asks Magnus to follow him for the interview. Alec spends the next 30 minutes to go through their conversation over and over again in his head, instead of worrying about his answers for the interview. Then the door finally opens and Magnus smiles at Alec, but for the first time it looks forced.  He wants to ask Magnus for his number, but the secretary already holds the door open for him and Alec can’t ignore her any longer.

When he enters the office, a man presses his hand so tightly that Alec wonders whether all of his bones are broken. The Man introduces himself as Mister Brown. Alec makes eye contact and sits down in front of him. The man's hair is so light that he looks like he's bald.

"Alexander ,"Mr Brown says smilingly,"Like Alexander the Great. And I do indeed expect great things from you".

"Why?" asks Alec and bites his lip at the same moment. So much for self-confidence. But the man just laughs and pats Alec's shoulder.

"Why? You're a funny guy. Just like your dad." 

Alec can't avoid rolling his eyes in annoyance. If there is one thing, he hates more than anything else, it is when people compare him to Robert. He's not like him at all. People just try to put you in drawers, whether it fits or not.

Mr Brown flips through Alec's application documents without taking a closer look.

"What qualifies you for the job?", the man asks him. instead.

Help.Yeah, What the fuck qualified him? He didnt study like Magnus, but is here because of his father. His success rate is worse than that of most others. Yeah, why the fuck should they hire him?

"You need a real estate agent and I'm here.", Alec answers truthfully.

It's not a good answer, but it seems to be enough. Mr. Brown continues to ask him about his previous experiences (so far only bad once in this industry), his weaknesses (talking to other people) and where his passion for real estate comes from. (His need for money and his father).

Then he asks the crucial question, that Alec always hates so much.

“Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

"Hopefully retired.", Alec answers with raised eyebrows. At this point Mr. Brown doesn’t laugh anymore, because he knows by now Alec isn’t joking.

So the interview is more or less catastrophic and at some point Alecs gaze starts to wander. He looks around and notices that he is surrounded by white walls everywhere. He's always been surrounded by white walls and with every passing minute the room seems to become smaller and smaller. He can’t stand it any longer.

He just wants this to be over. Then he could just forget about that embarrassing day. Okay, maybe he really failed this time, but he didn't have to talk about it to anyone. He’d just tell Robert he couldn’t make it to the interview. And then finally, FINALLY , Mr Brown saves him and tells him that the interview is over. Mr. Brown doesn't even shake his hand to say goodbye. At least their dislike for each other is mutal. Alec is already halfway through the door when the man calls after him.

"You've got the job", he says.

"What? But why?," Alec asks disbelievingly and turns around. It's the last thing he expected after everything.

"You're just the one we're looking for.", Mr Brown explains.

Unqualified and unmotivated ? Alec just shakes his head in disbelief.

"People will trust you in contrast to the other applicant."

"What do you mean?”, Alec asks, but Mr. Brown remains silent. Magnus is much better suited for the job than him. So why would they chose him after everything?Alec stares at the white wall and then it klicks. Suddenly he understands perfectly well why .

" It's because he is not white, like me. ", Alec says and there is a threatening undertone in his voice

Mr. Brown shifts in his seat nervously. Like many other people he feels uncomfortable when someone point out his racist behavior.

" That's not all. I mean, look at him. I have nothing against gays, but does he have to rub it into everyone’s face like that? We need a real man here, a real man like you, Alec."

And in this moment, he has enough. He is done with this stupid world and its stupid homophobic, racist, narrow-minded people. **  
** He doesn’t want to listen to this verbal diarrhea any longer. Sadly demolishing the office isn’t an option, after all he doesnt want to end up in prison. So he closes his eyes instead, breathes in and counts to three.

“Thank you, then. I'm glad I've got the Job. ", Alec says as friendly as possible, “But before I forget it, I'd like to call in sick for next week."

"What? Why?", Mr. Brown asks. Alec takes a moment before he answers. His sister would call it a dramatic pause.

"Because I'm gonna fuck Mr. Bane so hard that his whole body will shake in ecstasy. I will ride his cock until he screams my name in desperation and his cum will be all over me. And we're going to do this over and over again for the whole weekend until we're both so exhausted that neither of us can move ever again. So you see, unfortunately I have to stay at home next week.", Alec says and somehow manages to keep a straight face. 

Mr Brown’s jaw drops a little more with every single word Alec says. For a while, Alec just enjoys the shocked expression on his face, before he turns around and leaves the room through the open door. And then he almost bumps into Magnus. 

"What are you doing here?", Alecs asks and prays to god that Magnus didn’t hear him.

"I just got here because I forgot my briefcase.", Magnus explains and walks past him to get his stuff out of the office. Alec waits for what feels like a lifetime until Magnus returns with a grin on his face.

" Wow, Mr Brown looked pretty upset, almost as if someone talked about his sexuality in a- let's say- very explicit manner.”, Magnus says.

Alright, he definitely heard him and his life is over now. Alec had experienced many embarrassing moments as a gay teenager in a world full of heterosexuals, but this moment right here topped everything.

" I wish I was dead.", Alec says and hides his face in his hands.

Magnus laughs and just like everything else about him it’s beautiful.

"But seriously though, this was amazing. But I kind of feel responsible that you didn't get the job.", Magnus admits.

"Don't be ridiculous. None of this is your fault. I wouldn't want to work for a racist homophobic piece of shit like him.", Alec says.

"Then let's get a drink and toast to the fact that we're both apparently unemployed, but much better off like this."

"Yeah. Yeah, let's do this.", Alec agrees. 

He watches Magnus biting his lip as if he wants to hold back, but then he just bursts out into laughter.

"And if you want to ride my cock until I scream in desperation, we can still do that afterwards.", Magnus says.

Alec moans and rubs his hand over his temple:"Can we please just forget this and never talk about it again?"

"I'm afraid that's impossible because your beautiful words are already engraved in my brain forever , Alexander."

Alec groans, but can't hold back his smile at the same time. Somehow he likes the thought that in a world full of hate, they could still chose to make love whenever they felt like it.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Soo yeah. This is the weird stuff I'm thinking about on my way to school. But I mean it's not like people can read my mind.(unless I post it on ao3 and let them)
> 
> Wanna talk about Malec:)? I'm on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/multifandomgurke)


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